Well has been a very long time i last blog....
didn't really want to say much on wat actually happened this few months...
but anyway, surprised that i used english for my blog this time?
ha.. well juz felt that whatever i'm blogging now needs to be english thats all....
it's 17th march now...
and yes i am finally 22...
will be blogging on my celebrations after i get the pictures from denise....
hmmm....
was organising my documents in my com...
i came across a letter....
it was written on my birthday 16/3/2006
it's from her...
Dear Ww
There are many things left unsaid between us.. hopefully I'll be able to get them out one day. I read your blog and I teared.. It is true I've found my happiness but I couln't stop and think once in a while of what I did to you to be able to get the happiness I have now.. You don't know how bad I felt.. I couldn't face you and had to blocked you for a while..
Though there's no love for you but there's still lots of care and concern... I really hope all the best for you and please take care.. I wish we could be friends but I know it's tough on you.. I didn't feel comfortable talking to you the last time we chatted and I knew I need to give you time..I'll give you as much time as you need.. And I hope one day I'll be able to talk to you knowing everything you say is the truth and no lies..
Lastly, I'm sorry I hurt you... I want you to know that everything I did was not intended or planned... I still don't understand how it happened but I believed it was long overdued... we're just comfortable with where we were and that's why we stayed there... But you know, there's a long future in front of us.. Everything can happen....
Happy birthday.. Keep dreaming and don't give up on those dreams..
Cheers
Patt
i read it and i teared ....
it has been 2 years eversince she left me...
thought that tears won't flow again but...
well... maybe it's true i couldn't let it go...
i have to admit...
i am weak....
hiding myself away from the reality for the past 2 years with cigrattes and alcohol...
i'm trying hard to forget bout it...
trying hard to stand up again...
i've been trying... trying real hard....
tried all means to forget it...
but no matter how hard i try...
i can't....
i seriously can't....
not even now...
i'm still trying.....
but the road to letting go of the past does'nt seem anywhere near for me....
i seriously know that somewhere deep in my heart she's there...
i won't say i still love her, neither will i say i don't...
i am still confused still in a dilimma...
a side of me knows that i should let it go and carry on with my life, but another side of me knows that no matter what i still love her....
towards this... i can no longer judge for myself anymore....
it still hurts....
it really still hurts alot........
really........
“失去你... 等于失去了自己...”
《堕落天使》
~W.E.A.K~
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